Im done wondering. Im done trying to figure shit out. Im DONE liking straight guys, or even guys that are "out" as straight but obviously are not.
N fuck this gay shit.. what the hell. I don't understand why we cannot all just be straight n not have to worry or wonder or any of that.
No tonight did not go bad, but i can not get over how bad i felt. Ill tell u all about it later. But It's not Taylor's fault. N i am thankful for our friendship, so thankful, but i'm getting in to deep n i think i jus need to back off.. srsly.
No I didn't make a move, N no I didnd ask him anything about it.
I can't compete with his gf who he obviously loves nd is ok with his casual sex anytime she has him by the balls relationship. I cant b her.
I can give and give and give until there is nothing left but that is not going to make him like, LIKE me. It is what it is.
I don't get it sometimes tho. He got kinda mad cuz i invited our friend to come eat with us, I asked him if it was ok, and he said, "I guess". then like, he txts me when he gets off work, every day, jus to tell me hes off, and txts me good night and love u when he goes to bed. n tons of shit throughout all the day. He said there are jus two people that he txts all the time, Me n Her. I just dont get it, but, im done... Srsly.
heres a pic of me with Tays old sunglasses tho.
U think I look Dorky?
P.S. - Just say no to straight guys. Grrrrrr
N fuck this gay shit.. what the hell. I don't understand why we cannot all just be straight n not have to worry or wonder or any of that.
No tonight did not go bad, but i can not get over how bad i felt. Ill tell u all about it later. But It's not Taylor's fault. N i am thankful for our friendship, so thankful, but i'm getting in to deep n i think i jus need to back off.. srsly.
No I didn't make a move, N no I didnd ask him anything about it.
I can't compete with his gf who he obviously loves nd is ok with his casual sex anytime she has him by the balls relationship. I cant b her.
I can give and give and give until there is nothing left but that is not going to make him like, LIKE me. It is what it is.
I don't get it sometimes tho. He got kinda mad cuz i invited our friend to come eat with us, I asked him if it was ok, and he said, "I guess". then like, he txts me when he gets off work, every day, jus to tell me hes off, and txts me good night and love u when he goes to bed. n tons of shit throughout all the day. He said there are jus two people that he txts all the time, Me n Her. I just dont get it, but, im done... Srsly.
heres a pic of me with Tays old sunglasses tho.
U think I look Dorky?
P.S. - Just say no to straight guys. Grrrrrr
Posts
9 comments:
Aww Jason. I'm sorry. But really... Taylor might just be confused and still figuring out his sexuality. I don't think you should completely give up! I still think that he's been giving you all the signs of more than just a friendship between two regular guys. Don't get frustrated - just take it step by step. I guess I'll have to wait until you tell us more about tonight before I should say anymore though. Just keep your chin up k?
oh and btw, I like the glasses! I wish sunglasses look good on me... I can't ever find a pair that will fit my head!
soz to hear that. i got the cramps jkfbplaying on my ipod dock really loud and im bouncing and buzzin me tits off. i wish u cud be ere mate so u can foget tailor a bit. ad'ksvn u cud be bouncin around wid me n me m8s rite now. im fookin hammered rite now so soz i this doesnt make sense. dunno bout the sunglasses m8. got;lajka go.
*HUGS*
Don't hurt yourself cuz you deserve to be loved…and love will find its way to you…
just get wasted, and have fun, take the world step by step, heck remove some steps, dont do it by step by step, just live a life, and just dont be bothred, but i dont care really i just wanna say, wow super cute pic, love yours sun glasses.
I'm sorry to hear you feel that way. But it's clear, at least from what you say, that Taylor cares more for you than a "normal/regular" friend. There's something there, and you might just want to take a chance anyway. I know, everyone keeps telling you that and all.
I think you pull off the sunglasses pretty well, in any case. I wish I could pull off sunglasses at all. Oh well.
Here's wishing you the best. *hug*
<3
The sunglasses look good :)
Straight guys never do gay guys good, I've found. They're only good for friends. They're like girls, but it's harder to talk about hot guys to them because chances are, they're the one you want. I cliched as it sounds, I totally know what you're going through and I know how hurtful it is, because straight people usually feed you mixed signals, and then they quickly retract and you wonder if they even really care. Or, I do at least. But for now, maybe you should just regard the friendship you have with him as a specialty that no one else has, a sort of exclusivity. Clearly he holds both you and her to very high regards and goes lengths to show you, but I assume that you give more back than she does?
In any way, there's a special place in his heart for you that not even his girlfriend can't pry off, so be glad about that!
I <3 you! :D
ditto what doug said. some people never really know themselves until later in life. just be there for him (like you already are) and try to not let it make you go crazy! even though you ARE cray-cray about him.
hang in there buddy.
*big ol' hug* :)
Hi Jason and thanks for the comment you left. I have been reading these blogs for a couple of months without replying and have regarded you and Steevo as a solid base to receive good advise. Don't come off the rails but read your post as the normal thing you do as a reader and not as the author and think what your reply would be.You guys have feelings and intellect that is of value to a lot of people that lack your experience or life in general. I have faith in Taylor, maybe not as a lover but something maybe more,a beautiful friendship. Sex is great for a fraction of the day but true friendship is 24/7 and by your posts that is what toy and Taylor have.
Cheers
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