Sex, N Then Some... My Weekend

Trust me.. You would not be able to say no either.


Yup. I went there.. I did it.. Now I don't think i feel right about it.

Ya know, Im not dating anyone right now. So i didn't cheat. But I AM in love, so why does it feel like I was cheating. I don't know if i feel like I was just cheating on myself, or on the one im in love with. Maybe i just feel dirty.

Let me explain further..

So late at night i get a call at about 12am, Midnight on the dot. It's my old friend. Someone that before, I fancied over, and well, we had our fun back in the day. Jacob is fit. in many ways. He is a life long soccer player, and a killer bod to boot. If he is Gay, he is in the closet to everyone but me.

It started with texting. He asked if I wanted to come see him cause he wanted to see me. That was kinda strange. I hesitated to answer really, but then the phone rang. It was him. He said my name as i said hello. He said, "Jason! I want u here now." I started laughing. He said he was serious, I said, "Well ok then." So i headed off into the night to get what I knew was coming.

Casual Sex.

As I drove over to his place, I kept thinking about what might happen. I was thinking about his tight body. I was getting hard driving down the road. He started texting me again.. He would text things like, "Is it bad that I want you like I used to want you?", "I want you to do whatever you want to do to me", "We should be together"..

As i read these, driving and midly swerving down the road, I couldnt help but feel like I was not doing the right thing. I was not feeling it. Not like i used to, although my penis was feeling it, oh boy was it feeling it.

I arived to Jacob's and he was sitting on the porch waiting for me. As I came in he had a porno playing on the T.V. Yea, it was a straight porno. It seemed to me that he wanted to get busy right off the bat. But that is not me. I can't be like that. I kinda missed him and wanted to talk to him. I gave him a huge hug, and could smell that smell of ineberation. I knew then, this was not for me. Did i stop and say anything about it? No. I didn't. Why? I don't know.

We talked for a bit about life n such, and he layed across my legs and wanted me to massage his back. He was topless with nothing but boxers on. He is built well and muscular legs to boot. After all he is a soccer player. He is mostly smooth on his upper legs and ass. Back is spotless. Not one bump. My head was spinning. I think mostly because of the blood loss from my brain. Well that is what I am guessing anyway. As I massaged his back and legs it was like at that moment, my morals were out the window. What i felt, didnt matter. I was no longer in control.

He suggested we take a shower, so we did. U know what all goes on in the shower. lol. Then off to the bed. I sure must have been on "TOP" of things, cause he sure got off quick. That was that.

After we layed to sleep. He scooted closer and did something he never did before. He put his arm around me and passed out. I had bad dreams all night, and really could not sleep well. Did i feel that bad, or was it just too strange for me after all this time.

I don't love him like i used to. For me its more of a friends love. Not anything more.

Damn Penis Brain.

I got up the next morning, and drove home. I had to work in 2 hours. On the way home. I was not feeling that great emotionally. Not like i was all unstable and freaking out, but it sure was tugging at m heart. I kept thinking about Taylor. Y i don't know. But I was. I mean, He is not even mine and probably will not ever be. I guess i feel more like... idk... cheap. Like, a slut.

I guess tho, im just human. Either way, I kinda regret it, and I didn't even cheat on anyone?!

The ReSt Of The WeEkeNd

....was awesome. I wont lie. Went to Haunted houses, hung with friends, and TeePee'd someones house.. well houses. lol. We had so much fun. Haunted houses are always good cause when yer with a group everyone brings their own element to the group. So it makes it better fer sure. We were tripping and falling, and dancing at random times. Standing in line is always fun too, cause u get quality time with yer friends. Like, u cant go anywhere, so you talk, laugh, and tell stories.

Sometimes in life i think i have to remember the Yin and the Yang. The Good WITH the Bad.