Soooo it's Wednesday night. That means I pick Tay up from Baseball Practice and we hang out.
It's been kinda strange this week because I have been feeling a little under the weather, I am not so sure why, it's just been like that. The weather is so awesome so there is no excuse for it!
Early This morning, Taylor called me to make sure that I was going to spend time with him today. 7:15am to be exact. Who in the world calls people at 7:15 am? lol. Apparently Taylor does. I said, of course i'll be there. The fact is that anyone that has been reading this blog for more than a day, will know that for Taylor, I could be missing a leg, lost a hand, became deaf and mute, then died in my sleep, and I would still be there.
I pick him up and although when I see him, I usually perk up no matter what is going on, I was still needing that little pick me up to get me going. Don't you hate days like that? I freakin do. But of course it didn't take long. The drive from where he practices to the town he lives in, is about a 35 min drive. As usual we talk and talk on the way up there. He told me that he was going to go out with his ex over the weekend. I was to say the least, less than happy, BUT supportive about it. I really am ok with it, cause we have a friendship that he does not have with anyone else.
As we were driving down the highway, he started changing. I know the he knows this jus gets me all unfocused. lol. He changes his shirt and puts on another one, then just full out takes off his pants right there.. Didn't even go in the back seat. How can he NOT know that this just..just....well u know. Like, gaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! That's what it does. It drives me nuts inside. I was practically GRABBING my eye balls to not look. Damn him. lol
We decided to eat dinner at Pizza Hut Bistro. It was good. He kept making little spit balls and shooting them at me through his straw. One went in my mouth. lol. I guess that is as close as I am going to get to kissing him.. maybe.
After eating he had a project for his marketing class to do. He had to make a brochure. I am the shizz at that, so I helped him make it. The whole time on the computer we sat so close on these two chairs. I was holding the paper that had the instructions on it. As I would look at it he would put his hand on my leg, or he would put his arm on my leg and even one time, he bit my arm. Who does that.. well I mean, I do, but other than me, WHO DOES THAT?! lol. So i put his fingr in my mouth, and bit it.
I LOVE his hands. I have a hand, fetish, thing, kinda. Like I am really particular about hands, and nails and stuff. His are perfect. I would s....ok, im not going there. But im sure u can get what Im saying. I just love every damn thing about him.
After we got done with that report, we went into his room to hang up that picture thing that I made him. (I talked about it in one of my lasts posts. The Name made from NY Yankees logo) It looks like this.
Well, we hung that up and we were so close holding up the frame and like I just looked over to him and started making kissing noises smiling, and went for his neck to kiss it and he didn't even move. he just was like all still. so i quickly put a tack in my mouth and poked his neck with it. Yea, im a pussy. I should of jus did it. he laughed tho. Then lifted up his shirt to strech (why lifted his shirt i don't know) n then i rubbed his belly. lol. I melted.
Afterwords we just laid on the bed and talked and talked about stuff, and then he jumped up and said, "OH DAMN! I FORGOT! I made u another bracelet!". n he sure did too. It's Blue and Yellow and looks like one he has on. It's a match. He put it on me, and I just looked at it. So we laid back down on the bed and talked some more.
He started telling me about his ex gf and how one time they were home and everyone was gone so they took a shower together, nd all of a sudden, I said, "She's a LUCKY bitch".... OUT LOUD!! My JAW DROPPED. I cannot believe i said that out loud. Tay just started smiling this HUGE smile as I started backtracking blurting out random things like, "uh.. i mean.. well, that didn't come out right".. lol Taylor still smiling, i just looked at him blushing beat red, and said, "ok, that was actually one of those times when you are thinking something in yer head and it just comes out of yer mouth.". lol and I started laughing. If he did not know before how i felt, Im sure he does now.
All in all around that time, it was time for me to leave. I had a little drive to get home. Before we left We hugged another one of those huge long warm hugs where he squeezes tight (really) and I wrap my arms around like it's the last hug from him ill get. I put my mouth to his neck but didn't kiss it. just breathed in. He smelled so good. I melted....again.
I have read all your comments, and I still just don't know. I want to tell him, I want to say and do more, but I don't want to ruin anything we have now.
Life and Love is way too confusing. But in it's own way, so worth it.
P.S. - D.L. Made me want to make sure that everyone does know that Tay know's im gay. Taylor and I talked about this like 2 months ago. He does not treat me any different.. Actually, It seemed to being us closer. Steevo made a good point to ponder on when he said, "There r str8 guys that will have a crush, be infatuated, etc. with just 1 gay friend." Hmmmm.. maybe that is the case?
It's been kinda strange this week because I have been feeling a little under the weather, I am not so sure why, it's just been like that. The weather is so awesome so there is no excuse for it!
Early This morning, Taylor called me to make sure that I was going to spend time with him today. 7:15am to be exact. Who in the world calls people at 7:15 am? lol. Apparently Taylor does. I said, of course i'll be there. The fact is that anyone that has been reading this blog for more than a day, will know that for Taylor, I could be missing a leg, lost a hand, became deaf and mute, then died in my sleep, and I would still be there.
I pick him up and although when I see him, I usually perk up no matter what is going on, I was still needing that little pick me up to get me going. Don't you hate days like that? I freakin do. But of course it didn't take long. The drive from where he practices to the town he lives in, is about a 35 min drive. As usual we talk and talk on the way up there. He told me that he was going to go out with his ex over the weekend. I was to say the least, less than happy, BUT supportive about it. I really am ok with it, cause we have a friendship that he does not have with anyone else.
As we were driving down the highway, he started changing. I know the he knows this jus gets me all unfocused. lol. He changes his shirt and puts on another one, then just full out takes off his pants right there.. Didn't even go in the back seat. How can he NOT know that this just..just....well u know. Like, gaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! That's what it does. It drives me nuts inside. I was practically GRABBING my eye balls to not look. Damn him. lol
We decided to eat dinner at Pizza Hut Bistro. It was good. He kept making little spit balls and shooting them at me through his straw. One went in my mouth. lol. I guess that is as close as I am going to get to kissing him.. maybe.
After eating he had a project for his marketing class to do. He had to make a brochure. I am the shizz at that, so I helped him make it. The whole time on the computer we sat so close on these two chairs. I was holding the paper that had the instructions on it. As I would look at it he would put his hand on my leg, or he would put his arm on my leg and even one time, he bit my arm. Who does that.. well I mean, I do, but other than me, WHO DOES THAT?! lol. So i put his fingr in my mouth, and bit it.
I LOVE his hands. I have a hand, fetish, thing, kinda. Like I am really particular about hands, and nails and stuff. His are perfect. I would s....ok, im not going there. But im sure u can get what Im saying. I just love every damn thing about him.
After we got done with that report, we went into his room to hang up that picture thing that I made him. (I talked about it in one of my lasts posts. The Name made from NY Yankees logo) It looks like this.
Well, we hung that up and we were so close holding up the frame and like I just looked over to him and started making kissing noises smiling, and went for his neck to kiss it and he didn't even move. he just was like all still. so i quickly put a tack in my mouth and poked his neck with it. Yea, im a pussy. I should of jus did it. he laughed tho. Then lifted up his shirt to strech (why lifted his shirt i don't know) n then i rubbed his belly. lol. I melted.
Afterwords we just laid on the bed and talked and talked about stuff, and then he jumped up and said, "OH DAMN! I FORGOT! I made u another bracelet!". n he sure did too. It's Blue and Yellow and looks like one he has on. It's a match. He put it on me, and I just looked at it. So we laid back down on the bed and talked some more.
He started telling me about his ex gf and how one time they were home and everyone was gone so they took a shower together, nd all of a sudden, I said, "She's a LUCKY bitch".... OUT LOUD!! My JAW DROPPED. I cannot believe i said that out loud. Tay just started smiling this HUGE smile as I started backtracking blurting out random things like, "uh.. i mean.. well, that didn't come out right".. lol Taylor still smiling, i just looked at him blushing beat red, and said, "ok, that was actually one of those times when you are thinking something in yer head and it just comes out of yer mouth.". lol and I started laughing. If he did not know before how i felt, Im sure he does now.
All in all around that time, it was time for me to leave. I had a little drive to get home. Before we left We hugged another one of those huge long warm hugs where he squeezes tight (really) and I wrap my arms around like it's the last hug from him ill get. I put my mouth to his neck but didn't kiss it. just breathed in. He smelled so good. I melted....again.
I have read all your comments, and I still just don't know. I want to tell him, I want to say and do more, but I don't want to ruin anything we have now.
Life and Love is way too confusing. But in it's own way, so worth it.
P.S. - D.L. Made me want to make sure that everyone does know that Tay know's im gay. Taylor and I talked about this like 2 months ago. He does not treat me any different.. Actually, It seemed to being us closer. Steevo made a good point to ponder on when he said, "There r str8 guys that will have a crush, be infatuated, etc. with just 1 gay friend." Hmmmm.. maybe that is the case?
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15 comments:
Jason, you two are the cutest things ever. So I'm still pretty new to your blog.. does he know that you're gay? I know he doesn't explicitly know that you have feelings for him. It's tough whether or not to tell him. But I think my advice is to let him know. Because you seem to really be struggling about it and it will make you feel better if you do it. Plus, the way he is with you, I think he'd be comfortable with that. And who knows? maybe more CAN come from it.
But that's just my opinion - and I'm definitely not all that qualified to give advice. But I do wish you all the best with your relationship with Taylor. It just seems so amazing, what you two have. I envy you LOTS.
DL!
Yea, He knows Im Gay.. That's the Kicker. But Steevo did say (and makes sence) "There r str8 guys that will have a crush, be infatuated, etc. with just 1 gay friend."
Maybe im that friend.
funny, funny, funny!! he knows how you feel about him, and i don't think that he will have a problem with it. c'mon, he was biting your arm and touching your leg, waiting for you to kiss his neck, and showing off his six-pack while stretching. you have got to tell him, maybe during one of these moments. i want to quote del boy (a legend, btw), from only fools and horses - "he who dares, my son, he who dares wins!" and if you don't want to find out if he's interested in lads, then i can do it for you. lol! i mean, we are blogmates after all. haha! seriously, you will have to make a choice and take action sooner or later.
and the part about spitballs and kissing - hilarious. admit it, you were trying really hard to catch one (or maybe more!) with your mouth. lol!!
soz if this duplicates the email. for some reason the word verification image was not working for me earlier, so i could not post it. and thanks for the reassuring comments your posted in my blog.
btw, I totally forgot to say in my first comment: that picture you made for Taylor ROCKS! Are you a graphic designer? What'd you make it with?
jason, open your eyes ffs!
1. he changes clothes now in the front seat
2. hand on leg
3. the spit balls... were u holding your mouth open and he was aiming? Don't need no Freud for THIS one.
4. bit your arm... putting his mark on u
5. he let u suck his finger. and next???
6. kiss noises that he did not freek at
7. he lifted his shirt and let u rub his belly ---go lower maybe?
8. another bracelet ---matching!!! --staking a claim... maybe u r going steady???
9. real hug close and firm...
whew... how much more does he hafta do or say? He seems so comfortable and ready for some more substantial intimacy.
does he feel yer ass when u hug or rub his "stuff" on your "stuff". crotch grind. maybe u cud.
u coulda sed well WE could take a shower.... if u want...
on the bed u cud complain about a boner and need to wank...
idk... but i dont see any way u cud ruin the friendship. hand on leg is quite intimate esp if u work your way up and inside his thigh. just keep asking, "This OK , Tay?" --- "U sure?" u can also put HIS hand where u want it. if he keeps it there.. green light...
LOL --- steevo's play by play game plan for J and T....
u can mention tomorrow that u left w/ a bad case of blu balls. haf joking...
well g'luck!
hugs etc. XD
and next time you make a poster for him, you should add some subliminal messages like "kiss me now!" or something more explicit. lol! i should point out that sometimes getting too much advise can be paralysing. so i will try and keep mine to a minimum and just post cheeky and irreverent comments.
Cute! But unless you ask him what makes him do all these sweet things for you, you won't know what is exactly on his mind…
It can be a little confusing for you, though you are enjoying the moment with him!
I used to know a straight guy friend, who happened to be one of my closest mate, in fact. And he was always hanging out with me as I knew him very well as a person, and he knew of my orientation. He reminds me of your darling Taylor, maybe both of them can be considered as fruit flies?
I did not have a crush on this cute guy friend of mine, because he had never given me any bracelet like Taylor…LOL! =)
it does make you wonder, it seems the boundries lines are basically not there, there has been no rejection so far, and he is getting closer. i would say he is deffientely curious, but why rush, but why not. life is all about making decsions.
now we can pick a challeneg, we can pick a descions, but the fate is somthing we just got to have belief in, and why not take a peak, i know i would. but then if everyone did what i would do, its would be some kind of world.
but yes, beyourself, give him a hint, he seems to give you a hint, maybe take small chanees, and just see.
but heyyy jasson, it's a good old blog.
Wow, sweet story. Lol, it makes me wonder if he is 100% straight. Although in this day and age, guys can get away with doing more while being straight. We aren't as sexual repressed as before.
BTW, you are good with art stuff. I am so jealous.
That's a really touching post. I don't have any friendships like that, I suppose I distance myself just enough (or too much perhaps).
I'm glad you have a friendship like you do with Taylor. Next time, resist less . . . or something. :)
Ya like i dont think u would be ruining anything by just kinda going with the moment. it seems like he is deffo the one thats making the moves, so like next time just go with it a little more! no need to actually try and start something because it seems like he is already doing that!
dont wait too long tho because it might so happen that he eventually get over trying and just kinda backs off and i KNOW u wouldnt want that. good luck man, idk just take whatever I say as the ramblings of one 17yo dweeb haha.
hopefully i dont sound too preachy lol i just wanna help :) im happy and jealous for u ;)
Peace and love,
Landyn <3
WOW... he's definitely into you, even if he likes girls. there is something beyond the physical aspect of your relationship (spirtual maybe?) that has brought you two so close together.
don't be afraid. 5, or maybe 10 years from now, won't you wish you had taken the chance?
AHH YOU GUYS ARE so cute.
Like, super super super cute.
Super.
god if I could have a friend like that?!?!
WTF!!! So cute...with the tack thing ahahah :D
And also, I have a hand fetish too.
ALERT: sorry to sort of hijack yer blog, but....
?????? What happened to Stan in France? 5 days no post.
Anybody heard from him?
Chances are he already knows you like him; I'm not sure you'd accomplish anything by saying anything. Just my thoughts. He sounds like the most awesome friend a guy could ask for, I really mean that.
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