Maybe I was Wrong..

About that whole being in love thing sucking...

First off I want to thank everyone that replied to me about my last post. It was awesome to have your advice and comments. There is nothing more important to me in life than love. So it's kinda touchy.

But today, after reading everyone's comments, I decided it does not matter anymore if he does or does not feel the same about me, I am just truly blessed to have him in my life. So yesterday we made plans. To Pick him up from baseball after I got off work, (he doesnt have a car anymore cause he got into an accident)and have a night for just us. The night before he text me saying that he couldn't wait for out hangout night. Honestly, neither could I.

And Those Blue Eyes... The ones at the top of this blog, that when I look into them i melt.. Yea.. I love seeing those every time.

SO today, I got off work and drove like 100mph to where he was to pick him up. He had just go done with practice and was looking soooo fit in his uniform, but he always looks fit tho. lol, we had a little bit of a drive to go eat and he changed in the car, and he said, "I'm gonna climb in the back seat to change into my boxers", and I said, "Ok, I promise I wont peak" lol, it was funny cause I just always speak whats on my mind and he always lets me without giving me shit, or getting all wierded out. And yes, I kept my word, and didn't even try to peak. I respect him too much. Neway, we decided to eat at "Red Robins" and Man that place was good. It's funny cause when we just sit together, we can talk and talk and talk about everything. It like we never have a dull moment. Really we don't.

After we ate, we rode over to the mall, and went shopping. We of course went to Hollister, cause we are hollister hoes. hahaha. I had given him a gift card a while back for there and he had not spent it, because he wanted to go there with me, so after being there with him, i was not about to just let him spend his card, and not get something more, so we picked out clothes and i let him get an extra shirt. It's funny cause in the store, we always walk by each other and always seem to touch some how. Like if he is moving past me he will always brush against me a little. I think he knows how i feel.

Well really he should know how i feel. It's not like I have not told him a million times that I love him, he always says he loves me. So all in all, I know that even if it's not what I would want, it's what i have that matters, it's the blessing i have right before me. But it all gets better.

We walked into journeys and looked at shoes, and he I said that I really needed a pair of shoes. I was hopein that he would lead the way, and help. I am really bad a picking out shit. He has such a good style. So as i hoped he would, he grabbed a pair of shoes that I really was liking a lot. It's a pair of DC's. They are kinda wild, and a little different, but looked really cool. He liked them a lot, so after like forever of thinking about it i just told the lady, "Just put them in the bag before I like, change my mind". lol. So we bought them. They were like 100 bucks, but it's funny cause i wanted them more for the fact that Taylor picked them out than I did cause they were nice. lol. Im so lame. So there we were after shopping for like an hour, with all our stuff, and 200$ later. =O

These r the shoes! They r sweet tho.



While we were in the mall, we always seemed to brush up against each other. It's strange. Like, for me, it's almost like getting tazed. hahaha ok, well not like i dropped to the floor or anything, but more like just u feel something. I always wonder if maybe there is a part of him that might b into guys, but just kinda scared to say anything or act on it. I mean, most of us have been there, done that.

Well, we headed out of the mall and drove home. It was a beautiful evening. The crisp air, windows kinda rolled down, but not too much. I love the smell of fall.

As we drive we talked and talked. He said thanks for everything I do for him, and I told him that it really is not a big deal because he means the world to me. As I talked to him, and told him how i had felt after I had moved away from here, and went back home to Vegas last year, He just stared at me, listening to me talk. He does that. Sometimes when we drive he looks at me and just stares. lol.

We got to his house and took out all our goodies from the mall. I took out my shoes and was like, man, I just don't know if I want to keep these. I like them a lot, but idk. So As if Taylor knew i would want to keep them, he pulled them out of the box, laced them up for me, put them on and modeled in the mirror with them on. Hahaha. He looked so good in them. Like, it's most likely cause it's him, but he is just so beautiful. SO since he did all that, you KNOW that i was going to keep them. lol.

SO after all that, and a warm hug, I was off. He walked me out. Gave me a huge hug, and i drove away. After driving for a bit, we started texting. it kinda went like this.

TAY: "Thank you for everything tonight, I love you.". That meant a lot. and NO, im not getting all nuts about him telling me he loves me, and not looking into it more than it is.

ME: "Anytime man. and I love u too! Kajkbillions!" (hey it sounded cute)..

TAY: "You really mean alot to me bro"

ME: "Well your worth all i do for you, Like i said tons of times before, u mean the world to me"

TAY: "You mean the world to me too"

ABOUT 30 MIN LATER

ME: "Nd for the record, remember when i said to you that there was just one person in the world that can just say the word and I would stay here?"

TAY: "Yea, I remember"

ME: "Well I was talking about you"

TAY: "Really? Bro I would never make toy stay here. I love seeing you but I want you to be happy. I'll Move down there with you. I love you bro."

ME: Well either way I wanted you to know.

Again, I am not looking at that as more than what it really is, but man, He has been someone forever that I would move the mountains, walk on water, and fly for. lol.

So, you all are pretty right, I think he does know how I feel. I don't hide shit really well. And also, again, you are all right, I am just blessed to have him in my life regardless of what type of relationship it is. I guess u never know what the future will bring you. Even if it's not what I would want, I will still thank God for what I have.